VOL. 01 ·
EST. 2026
THE FIRST EDITION
OCT 20 2026
I bought the new Bose Noise Cancelling Wired Earbuds, with an advertised 4.4 out of 5 customer rating. They are described as "throwback vibes, the latest Bose signature sound, and renowned noise cancellation to elevate your everyday listening. Just plug, play, and get instant, effortless access to your top songs." (Bose execs discover chat gpt confirmed BTW)
I'm a big wired headphone truther and not in the bisexual emotional support trinkets on Instagram way (not derogatory btw), just in a way where sometimes I'll be in public and don't wanna make eye contact with people, so I keep a few pairs in my purse that I don't have to charge. So when I saw these come out for $100 I thought I'll try it because I have another pair of Bose wireless headphones that I love. Those are the Bose Ultra Open Earbuds. Maybe I'll talk about this another time, but I do rate them an 8 out of 10. I first saw them when I was in China, and I impulse-bought them because China is, like, three years ahead of us from a tech standpoint, so consider yourself warned.
Anyways, back to the Bose noise-canceling wired earbuds, I'm currently struggling with a pimple in my ear because I wore them for a day, and it was so damn tight that I think my pores got clogged in my ear, no joke, so now I have this like pimple sitting right at the bottom of my inner ear, right where the headphone was resting. Anyways, the features on the headphones are really horrible. The noise canceling doesn't really work. I feel like it's only noise-canceling because of how tight they made them sit in your ear, which, like, might as well just be wearing an earplug. When you turn on noise canceling it just sort of sounds like a microwave is going off in your ear. These are big and clunky like I don't know how we regressed so far when it comes to technology. I really hate that my first opinion on this fake newspaper of mine is actually a big hate piece, but that's pretty on brand for me, honestly, and I'm not making any money, so I don't really have anything to lose. In fact I lost money making this because not gonna return these for $100, that would be wrong.
Big clunky blue earbuds.
— Megan
THE COLUMNS
OPINION
WOMEN ARE SCARING THE HOES
I’m not gonna go too deep here I am also not trying to sound like the right wing manosphere type of guy, but I’m just wanting to address something with the ladies from an honest perspective.
I’m seeing way too much content comparing in such a literal way exactly what you’re doing as a woman and expecting the exact same of men. I do agree, don’t go date a fucking bum, but I’m seeing these long lists and like the things that you accomplish, which is amazing, but like keep that shit to yourself. I don’t think we need to reduce our human relationships to this list of “I do this so I expect this of my partner as well.”
I think a lot of our actions are scaring away men. We’re doing too much of this “peacocking,” which is like signaling how beautiful and important we are.
Men know that they need us. I was raised religious, so I fundamentally was raised to know that there’s a man and a woman who are complementary to each other and not the same. (not in a degrading way BTW. ugh before Woke 2.0 gets my ass)
Anyway - We don’t need to tell them this constantly and talk about how much money we’re making and how busy we are and how wonderful our social life is etc. I feel like we should just go through life caring a little less about how we’re perceived. I don’t like to hear people talk about themselves too much. I think we’re just going totally OD on this to the point it’s counterintuitive.
LIFE & OBSERVATIONS
Rangoon Reveal
I wanted to give a shout out to this crab Rangoon brand (Royal Asia Snow Crab Rangoon) I randomly bought at Whole Foods and I keep buying them because the macros aren’t terrible.
I found out that they’re not terrible because there’s actually very little cream cheese in them which is obviously what makes you fat so I’m essentially just eating blue crab wrapped in a wonton so it’s kind of scratching the itch of wanting a high calorie crab cream cheese pocket.
I’m looking at the nutrition facts now you can eat the entire box for 400 cal and have 14 g of protein. I don’t really know if that’s that good but I can tell you that it’s not THAT bad and you’re baking them instead of frying them.
You hate to pull up to a Chinese restaurant, and you’re like, when was the last time they changed the oil in this fryer? Probably never. So anyways, for like seven bucks at Whole Foods. You can really have a good savory meal. Also yes I live alone if that wasn’t apparent so I find a lot of things that are in the freezer section that I can cook quickly that aren't gonna kill me because I’m also really against Uber eats and food delivery which I’ll tell you why in a different piece but I just don’t like the thought of my crab Rangoon being shuttled around in a Nissan Altima by somebody. I don’t know we have gotten to a place in society where we’ve normalized our food having a chauffeur like I didn’t even have a chauffeur why would my bento box have one? - but sure go stimulate the economy in that manner if you'd like, I don't care.
ADVERTISEMENT
Advertise here Please
I actually really don't want to monetize this, but if a brand is interesting enough, I'll put your photo here or something.
Also, if you're restaurant, you can invite me in for a free meal and I'll post a photo of it here.
Have your own opinion you want to poorly explain?
question, a comment, a strongly held opinion
Sent privately to Megan. Your message will not appear on this site.
One terrible newspaper